The Journey to 130!

While looking at pictures from my last blog, I got really emotional and decided that it’s time to have a serious conversation. I got really down in my spirit because of my weight gain. While looking at pictures in my phone and on my social media, it hit me that I’d traveled far beyond my 125-130 pound usual I've, and started the beginning of the year at 172 pounds! It wasn't that I didn't notice that I’d gained weight, but it wasn't until I looked at myself from last year versus this year that I'd realized how much weight I had gained and how unhappy I was. In this blog, I really hope to inspire people and that starts by inspiring myself and being truly happy win my life. There are many reasons young women gain weight and I’ve pretty much gained a few pounds a few different ways. Stress, illness, freshman 15 (and beyond), medicines, etc., have been factors to my weight gain.But, with my new year, new me mantra, I’m glad to say that within four months, I’ve lost 20 pounds through an extra healthy lifestyle, clean eating, and prayer.

In high school, I was on the dance team, I ran a lot in my spare time, I took dance and was overall very active. However, when I got to college, and wasn't doing those things anymore, I noticed my first difference in weight. I went to the gym whenever I felt like it, was on Dance Ensemble but I wasn't as active like I was in dance class, ate whatever I wanted and made a lot of excuses when it came to what I ate. For example, if I spent an hour in the gym, I would ‘reward’ myself with a burger and fries in the café. I know it's bad, but that that was my mentality. My rewards started off as if I ate clean during the week, I would cheat on Saturday, then it spread to the whole weekend, and then I would eat a clean breakfast and lunch, but eat whatever I wanted during dinner. While at the same time, the gym saw me less and less, to the point where I wasn't going, and I considered my walking across campus all day as my exercise. I truly got lazy, school was getting harder, I was stressed out in class, rarely slept and in my head I thought, an extra 8 or 9 pounds never hurt anybody, and that outlook on life is what got me an extra 40 pounds in 2 years.

It didn't get any better when my grandfather passed away. The summer after my freshman year of college, my grandfather passed away and his passing put me in a really low, depressed point in my life. As I expressed in my first blog post, my papa was my best friend, confidant, provider, and was really my dad, and when he passed away I became really depressed. I buried myself in school work an whatever else I could to try and get the pain of his death out of my mind, and that whatever else involves food. I ate so much junk food, high fats, barely ate any healthy foods such as vegetables and fruits, nor did I work out. That first fall semester, I didn't step a foot in the gym, unless it was for an event, nor did I go out to the track outside. With so much sudden neglect, and unhealthy eating, and barely drinking water, by the middle of the spring semester, I fell ill. The first week that I started feeling sick, I dropped 20 pounds from not eating or drinking. In the following weeks, I went from hospital to hospital, getting tests, that month I was prescribed over 10 different medications, and no one could figure out where this sickness had come from. Within that month, I had went from 142 pounds to 117, and after finding the right medication, within three months, I skyrocketed up to 168 pounds.

After that illness, I wasn't motivated to do ANYTHING. My weight has teeter- tottered from 168- 185, at one point in time, and until this year, I didn't really care. I’ve given away so many clothes and sold pageant dresses because I couldn't fit them anymore and that made me even more depressed and unhappy with myself. When older women complain about their weight at church or at family reunions, and speak about how my body looks good because I’m so young, it makes me sad because I don't see the good looking body that they see. I became very self conscious about what I wore, I used to be so comfortable in a swimsuit, and now I only go to the pool when there is no one around. Weight is such a serious matter with women of all ages, and I never really noticed it until I started to experience my own weight gain and witness the hard work and determination needed to burn it off.

Earlier this year, I decided that I wanted to start seriously competing in pageantry again after I give up my international title this upcoming August. With that decision, it means new dresses, shoes, perfecting my platform, and SWIMWEAR COMPETITION! I want to be a change agent in my community and in my state, and I want to use my gift of song, and my platform to implement that change. That has motivated me to change my lifestyle, stop throwing the pity party I've thrown myself for the last few years, and readjust my life, goals, ambitions, and what it is I want for myself. I started my February 2017 by changing my diet, going to the gym and not making excuses for myself and lost 15 pounds by mid May. At the end of May, while home for the summer, I’ve started running a lot more, as well as going to Fine Lines Personal Training in Little Rock, and since going, I’ve lost an additional 5 pounds, and counting.

When I started this Journey to 130, I knew it would take hard work and I know that by continuing to work hard, I can reach my goals. If it is in God’s plans, next summer I will be walking across the Miss Arkansas stage radiating confidence, and showing that it's possible to achieve what you want to achieve if you put your full mind, body and soul into it. I will hopefully be competing in pageantry again in October, and I am excited to show those who support me the changes I’ve undergone so far in my weight loss journey, and hopefully inspire young women that having a healthy lifestyle is so important and beneficial to our lives.

-JoJo

#weightloss #journey #newyearnewme #confidence